Start of a New Series.

"Coty" (coty) 05/04/2015 at 21:17 • Filed to: Misadventures of Dick

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Dick is a guy who, for some reason, feels that I need to know how cool his three Hondas are. I’m both baffled and entertained by this and the way he goes about trying to impress his level of awesomeness on myself and my group of friends. I figured some of you may also want to be baffled and entertained. So we’ll start off with this. This happens almost weekly, thus the Misadventures of Dick tag. Hopefully you will find this entertaining, but I know some will find it childish. *shrug*

Tonight the fight started on this picture:

Before we get into it, some context you’ll need: Jeremy owns a very fast Saab, and Dick has in the past referred to my ST as as base model Focus. I think that’s all you need to know to understand this:

And down the rabbit hole of those 21 comments we go:

Disclaimer: I in no way have an issue with Hondas, more their owners which seem to act like this a lot. If you own a Honda and aren’t a fuckstick, we’re cool. This is posted with the intent of being entertaining, not inflammatory, unless you’re Dick. If this becomes inflammitory or causes fights, it will be pulled and will not continue as a series.

TheHondaBro > Coty 05/04/2015 at 21:21

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But... Hondas are cool...

Coty > TheHondaBro 05/04/2015 at 21:24

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They can be. They can be.

Usually not being a dick (heh) about how cool they are makes them cooler.

Blondude > Coty 05/04/2015 at 21:24

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So, I’m guessing Dick owns a Honda?

Blondude > TheHondaBro 05/04/2015 at 21:24

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But fucksticks like Dick aren’t.

Coty > Blondude 05/04/2015 at 21:27

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Nailed it.

scoob > Coty 05/04/2015 at 21:30

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EVERYOEKNE KNWOS IF YUOU DONTI MOD YOUREr CAR YOURE CAR ISNOT FASTTS

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Coty 05/04/2015 at 21:31

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You just gave up on clearing out the full name here?

Coty > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/04/2015 at 21:32

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WHOOPS

TheHondaBro > Coty 05/04/2015 at 21:34

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HAHA WE KNOW NOW!!!!

Okay, back to my calculus homework.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Coty 05/04/2015 at 21:35

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Well I'm sure that your friend, R.O.3, probably just approved of you posting his name on a very public forum. Would you like me to ask him myself if he's cool with it?

yamahog > Coty 05/04/2015 at 21:36

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Dick is, by definition, in violation of Rule #1. Just delete his ass and spare us all.

Coty > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/04/2015 at 21:36

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Could delete your comment and then the name wouldn’t be anywhere on this post, but it’s up to you.

Coty > Blondude 05/04/2015 at 21:39

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Three.

Jeremy > Coty 05/04/2015 at 21:40

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Now now, my Saab isn’t THAT fast.

Coty > Jeremy 05/04/2015 at 21:40

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I mean, it backs up it’s own mouth just fine.

Sam > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/04/2015 at 21:42

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Aaaaand, now everyone know Ol’ Dicky.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Coty 05/04/2015 at 21:47

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Have at it, it's his info, not mine.

jkm7680 > Coty 05/04/2015 at 21:53

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Wow, what a dumbass. To be honest, a good percentage of the Honda owners that I know are complete tools that think their base ‘01 Civic is the fastest thing on planet earth only because it has VTAK YO.

To be honest, they’ve made me dislike Honda to the point where I’d only drive an NSX.

jkm7680 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/04/2015 at 21:53

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Well, guess who’s getting a free subscription of fetish porn daily!

I’m kidding....... MABEEEEEEEY.

Wurrwulf > Coty 05/04/2015 at 21:54

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When I was in high school, I had to deal with a similar guy. He had a B18 swapped Civic Coupe and talked shit day after day. He kept talking about “walking STis and Evos”. Well, just to call his bluff one day, I pulled up in my dad’s STi to his work when he was getting off. I called him out even though I had no intention of running him. I knew he’d back pedal and make up bullshit, but I got a kick out of seeing his reaction.

In fairness, he had every right to talk shit about my car. I was driving an xB with 108 furious HP.

SlickMcRick > Coty 05/04/2015 at 21:56

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Haha. You called him limp

Coty > SlickMcRick 05/04/2015 at 21:58

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The plan is to just use that as his actual name in all interactions.

Coty > Wurrwulf 05/04/2015 at 22:00

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I have two cars that together don’t make that.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > jkm7680 05/04/2015 at 22:02

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I mean I already signed him up for the church of scientology, so have fun!

Coty > jkm7680 05/04/2015 at 22:03

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I’d like to have a cleanly modified Civic, just to show that it can be done and that it’s not actually even hard to do.

I’ll save my VTEC jokes, I’ve caused enough hate to come my way for the evening.

MLGCarGuy > Coty 05/04/2015 at 22:06

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I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW MY ACCORD IS A RESPECTABLE CAR.

Just kidding. I’m not going to pretend I race my Honda against scooters and claim I win every day. Your Beetle has a certain air of cool to it.

Coty > MLGCarGuy 05/04/2015 at 22:08

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MLGCarGuy > Coty 05/04/2015 at 22:09

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I didn’t even realize that was a pun until you brought that to my attention.

Coty > MLGCarGuy 05/04/2015 at 22:14

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Haha that’s great. Yeah that’s one of my two Beetles.

jkm7680 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/04/2015 at 22:16

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Ah, I'll probably just write his number on the bathroom stall at Sheetz and then sign him up for the Westboro baptist church.

MLGCarGuy > Coty 05/04/2015 at 22:16

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Is this your other one?

jkm7680 > Coty 05/04/2015 at 22:17

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An Ep3 would be all I could handle. Maybe an 06+ but probably not a Honda at all.

Coty > MLGCarGuy 05/04/2015 at 22:19

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Haha no, but aircooled Porsche is in my future, somewhere.

Watercooled Porsche is kinda meh to me.

Coty > jkm7680 05/04/2015 at 22:20

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I’ll take an EG, I can make that shit clean.

thebigbossyboss > jkm7680 05/04/2015 at 22:20

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Before yesterday I would disagree. But yesterday I saw some ricer civic in my hood with it’s front left wheel all fucked up like it wasn’t on tight. This thing had the impending doom wobble. Anyways, I observed this and saw the driver pull away as I pulled into my drive.

Later, I am near my car and the guy pulls up to the stop sign so I yell from the side that his front right wheel is messed up, and the guy does a peel out.

Then today, stupid rice bro is back but this time the crv that had it’s muffler chopped off is in front of him at the stop sign and they BOTH floor it from the sign for no damn reason.

Bro driving the crv has to be like 30 way too old for this shit. I mean sure my car is loud, but it looks better and I drive like less of a douche. In the meantime idiot bro is still driving with his front right wheel lose or bent or whatever. He’s gonna go through his tires in like 4000 kms.

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > Coty 05/04/2015 at 22:22

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I have friends in real life that I cannot deal with on FB. Unfriend or block their content. No biggie. Nice pic BTW.

promoted by the color red > Coty 05/04/2015 at 22:24

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AY BRO. DID I TELL YOU THAT ONE TIME I TOTALLY WALKED A VOLVO TURBO WITH MY INTEGRA GS-R?

IT WAS A DENIS BUS WITH A VOLVO TURBO DIESEL.

Coty > promoted by the color red 05/04/2015 at 22:25

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I always feel like asking “Did they know you were racing?” with these type of claims, haha.

Coty > V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! 05/04/2015 at 22:26

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Thanks dude. Friend’s girlfriend, friend taking picture, my car.

promoted by the color red > scoob 05/04/2015 at 22:33

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My friend’s cousin kept asking me why didn’t I build my car with forged pistons, sleeved block, a light turbo, and race valves. Uh, because I need to drive it on the street?

Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey > Coty 05/04/2015 at 22:41

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Dick is, well, kind of a dick.

And not in the sense that any of his arguments make sense. In the sense that he must be a huge idiot.

You and your damn base model Ford.

Coty > Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey 05/04/2015 at 22:46

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$28k for a Focus S, I got fucked :(

Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey > Coty 05/04/2015 at 22:47

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The whole Ford discount thing is kind of a lie

Coty > Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey 05/04/2015 at 22:48

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Should’ve got an SFE.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/04/2015 at 22:49

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The third dick in his family lineage of dicks.

jkm7680 > Coty 05/05/2015 at 07:29

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If you can even find a clean one to start with haha.

Coty > jkm7680 05/05/2015 at 09:04

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Oh my god that would be so hard.